Thoughts on Fashion

I was born with a critical disdain for fashion. That is why i have the tiniest inkling how on planet earth i got in this field. But, as i grew working my ass out there, i did some backtracking, and here are things i've learned.

First, it is only now that i personally understood that everything (like anything under the sun) can be learned so long as one is willing to. See the image up there? I kinda consider it (along with a ton more books) my fashion bible now - since it talks about the lives and design philosophies of 150 fashion designers in the world. I remember how my brother used to tell that there are two ways to become a fashion buff: it's either you'd literally live that kind of lifestyle (i.e. you'd be one of those well-traveled, culturally-exposed kind who gets to enjoy every element the fashion scene has to offer), or you may just be that someone who would simply read a lot. And my book up there clearly signifies the latter, doesn't it? It does. And i find nothing wrong about that, i mean, with too much reading. In fact, one would need not choose from these two. Aiming for substance, they should actually work hand in hand.

Secondly, i have learned to delineate being a fashionista from a fashion designer. While i was on my way to facing this field i am currently in, i had a tough time trying to understand how i can be in this when i have never been fond of dressing up? My answer is this: one can be as avid as a monkey when it comes to following fashion trends, but designing is a whole different story. Design, in any particular way (in this case, say, fashion), involves extensive research, a wide cultural awareness, and discipline (in its purest sense). Decades ago, the fashion scene here in my country has often been associated with pure materialism (since people from the high soceity are the only ones who can appreciate), but thank goodness that now, people are beginning to delve into a deeper and more substantial essence of fashion. Thanks to some key fashion critics, for they are now continuously eyeing for young, upcoming and promising fashion designers who exemplify a sincere mixture of culture and design.

Oh my, i rashly began writing my thoughts down about my field but then i'm beginning to realize there are a million thoughts that deserve to be squeezed in. However, i'd try to make this as concise as possible.

The last thing i have learned is that one may not be adept at dressing herself up, but dressing others up is also, a different story. In relation to this, i have always believed in the story of the 2 barbers. In this story, one is asked to choose where he should go for a haircut: to the barber who always wore a clean haircut and whose shop has always had a neatly swept floor, or to the barber whose hair almost covers his entire face (as if no one could tell if he's human or not) and whose shop has always been full of hair dust on the floor? I'd rather go to the second one. He's much more promising since he had always been preoccupied with servicing his guests. Guests who have trusted his workmanship since.

Ehemm, same goes with any field. Now that I have learned to love my job, i must admit that striving to grow in this field has been preoccupying me that's why if you could please forgive me for not dressing up the way i need to. Ironic for me, that i choose not to waste my time primping myself; Just as how i have never been fond of shopping when my job says it's the world that i literally wallow in. I choose, rather, to offer my people the most sincere designs that i can always come up with and allow my people to grow with me as i work with them in this field.

One thing to close this, i'd like to encourage my colleagues not to give up in discovering themselves. I, for one, can say that i hold a keen eye for aesthetics and this is one key that has led me to, or should i say, that has kept me moving. And because i've decided upon myself to stick it out there no matter what, i have discovered a genius in me that can still be honed in time which i can't wait to witness happen inch by inch. Moreover, for my fellows out there, i'd like to share that i've learned not to look at my inabilities as a hindrance for keeping up. I have always challenged myself to make use of what gifts i have to meet and converge with the standards the world dictates. Hence, my niche.

I Gained!

People are beginning to see me around again, after quite a while. One thing i hear: "you've gained weight." Life is ironic (and unfair). Now that i've been making the biggest effort in my life to try to lose weight and get the heroin-chic look, they tell me i gained????

Effort not enough, i believe. I'll find a way. Oh, maybe it's because i overslept for the past couple of days. Now i remember. All right, I'll work on the balancing part soon. I promise.

For the rest of the world, wait till i take-off. I'll sweep you all, one at a time. My Father has so much to reveal to me. In no time, He will (so long as I obey). So now i prepare the field.

Design, Design, Design

I've just seen Brian Gothong Tan on TV today. Just so you know, i haven't been watching tv for ages but then i thought i'd better start doing something new nowadays. Okay, Brian Gothong Tan. I don't precisely know what he was doing on tv aside from having designed something for Sony (I'm not so good at remembering things of grandeur, forgive me). All i know now is that he was born in the Philippines, grew up in Singapore, and that he's gay. He's just a year older than i am but he's already "considered one of the most-exciting and prolific multimedia artists in Singapore," web says. Want to know how he got me interested in finding this out? Here's what happened.

Simple. As i was watching him being interviewed by a skinny, fine, Oriental-looking lady, i noticed not only his Singaporean-English accent, but also the impressive background where the interview was held. It looked to me as if he's in a design store that he owns. I wanted to believe i was right. Then, while the camera was showing its viewers around (of course while the interviewer and the interviewee were talikng), i spotted two tiny, almost microscopic and unrecognizable things the human eye could see - a hat and a purse. On one angle, i saw the silk-screened hat sitting on a headless mannequin, while on another, i miraculously spotted a bag-strap and a portion of a well-designed graphic purse that seemed so familiar to me. To tell exactly, both were shown for a mere split second. So how could i possibly notice things and revel in a split second spectacle? It is for the main reason that both stuffs can also be found in our shop here in the Philippines. Yes, in the shop under the company that i work for. In short, we made them. Hah! I know, how on earth did those get there? There must be something about this guy. And yeah, found out he was born here.

I have always dreamed of having my own design store, and what i saw during Tan's interview kinda gave my eyes a distinct gleam again :) This guy's (gay's) done a lot already (his works were really impressive, i give that to him), and the two miniscule spectacles that got me excited are nothing compared to his bunch of achievements. But i am always grateful that everytime i get to hear these stories, not only do i get pissed off (in a very positive sense, meaning, that this kind keeps my feet moving), but also that i get to dream more. Must admit i'd have to visit his place someday to find out how our stuff got in there. I'd better learn from this. From this day on, i will always believe that dreaming and working towards that dream REALLY offers no boundaries.

Nonsense

I just saw Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix last night. I've read the book. But up to now i still don't believe Sirius Black is completely dead. In the 6th book (forgot the title), neither am i convinced that Dumbledore too is dead. This just could not happen. Rowling cannot get rid of Harry's mentors just like that. Haha! What do i know about plots, anyway? But hey, I live in a free world, i can say what i want. What do you know, i might be making sense.

I've always been fond of writing. I remember i used to write to my friends a lot when i was in high school. But, sadly, i didn't give much to train myself to write well. I hated reading.

That is why i can never be grateful enough when i read Stephen King's book - On Writing: Memoirs of the Craft (or something to that effect. Forgot the exact title. I always forget, forgive me; i've the weirdest memory.) In the book King said, if you want to become a writer, you need to read a lot and write a lot. God saved my life, He got me to start reading back in College. And now, believing every bit of what King said, i try to write with sense. But it's sooooooooooooooo hard to make sense. In fact, due to a dire need, i recently wrote someone a letter recounting thngs in my life. i sent it after an hour completing it. The next morning, i reread what i sent. Golly, i sucked. I wanted so much to edit what i wrote, but it wasn't necessary. Damage has been done (hihi).

I don't know what i am actually driving at. See, I AM NOT MAKING SENSE. I just wanted to write so bad. It's because i can't get myself to read. Hey, i've a good question (a life-and-death kind of thing): Which would you prefer to become, a thriving chef or a starving artist? If you choose to become a thriving chef, you'd take risks such as cutting your middle finger with the sharpest kitchen knife or maybe like burning half of your face while retrieving something from the wood-fired oven. While if you choose to become the starving artist, you'd take risks such as losing your mind, period. So which one?

Hmmmmm.... (i'm humming a hymn in my head -like how Humtpy Dumpty used to do while strolling down the wonderland. Wait, i'm kinda not sure if Humpty Dumpty really used to do this. I just remember his riddle and his wall. I'm making this all up, forgive me. I thought it might sound interesting).

I lost my nail cutter. I had to sneak in my parents' bedroom to get my mom's because my nails kinda grown long and yellowish. I didn't know my dad was already in a deep sleep when i snuck in. A few minutes after i left the room, he called me through my cellphone. He asked where i was. I said i just went out of their room. He didn't mind, we still talked over the cellphone. He asked me how i was. Weird. Does this make sense?

I'm just probably so pumped up tonight. I had three strong doses of caffeine, that's why. Had 2 cups of cappuccino and a cup of green tea. My tummy's kinda going berserk right now, but i'm ignoring it.

Finally, i can't think of anything more to write down. Maybe i should start reading. Haven't touched my thick red book for quite a while. I'm not even halfway through with it. i'll try finishing some pages tonight. Wish me luck.

Happy or Not, Here I Come

Happy Feet spoke to me very clearly today. I've seen it once before but it didn't speak to me as much as how it did this evening. Well, not until someone had to preach about it (as if it was carefully preapared for me) so i i'd wake myself up from sleep. You know, i tend to forget things. I always do, in fact. And i didn't quite expect a penguin would give me a nudge this time (though, sadly, i can't speak penguin yet), i mean a penguin story (the usually not so popular one) would be used to pull my hair, get my attention for a second, and whisper to me a sharp reminder i badly need at this very moment.

Today i am being reminded of things in the aspect of pursuing my call and in the aspect of waiting.

Hmmmm.... can't think of anything else to write at this moment. I feel lazy. The weather's just one to blame, the rest would be myself. I've been trying to take care of myself as much as i could but i don't think my body wants to respond the way i wanted it to. I think I know why. but i choose not to tell. I don't want to be dragged back into that abyss again.

If i write some more, i bet i'd end up whining about many things again. I need to stop here for now. I choose to smile, nonetheless.