To Be Continued

I have been meaning to write a post for the past weeks but GOT has apparently consumed me.   It consumed not only my free time but even my day dreaming time.   Though i have come across numerous spoilers about Robb Stark being killed, the Red Wedding episode still got to me very strongly.  I cannot get over it.

Anyways, Game Of Thrones isn't really why i decided to write again.  The  post was meant to be about me actually.

On a surfing weekend getaway with my high school friends, too much memories have built up bit by bit that i..

ang hirap magsulat ulit.

Tao Rin Pala Sila

Wala akong magawa ngayon.  Bukod sa paulit-ulit na pagtulog at pag-gising, wala akong ginawa kundi kumain nang kumain.  Ilang araw palang lumipas ay lobo na naman ang mukha ko, tila marshmallow na punong-puno ng hangin.

Dahil sa wala akong magawa, nagbasa na lamang ako ng ibang personal na blog ng mga taong tinitingala ko.  Tinitingila ko dahil matagumpay sila sa sari-sarili nilang buhay.  Lagi silang nagpo-post ng mga kanya-kanya nilang tagumpay at lagi akong na-iinspire kapag nababasa ko ito.  Pero higit sa na-iinspire, nahihikayat akong magsumikap nang todo para maging katulad nila.  Okey ito, pero minsan, darating nalang yung mga oras na tatamaan ka ng matinding pagod at kalungkutan at maiisip mo na hindi madali ang buhay.  Kaya ang una mong gagawin ay kaawaan ang sarili mo.

At hindi okey yun.

Nagulat ako nang mabasa ko ang mga blog posts na katulad ng mga nabanggit ko.  Nabasa ko ang parehong mesahe ng kalungkutan at pagkabigo ng mga taong tinitingala ko.  Nagulat ako at naisip ko bigla, pareho-pareho pala kami ng mga nararamdaman.  Tao din pala sila.  May tagumpay man pero may pagkabigo din pala.  Isa lang ang itinanim ko sa isip ko pagkatapos:  Higit na matamis ang tagumpay kung ito'y dumanas ng higit ding kabiguan.

Wala lang..  Ngunit kung sa bawat araw ay hihingin lamang natin ang grasya ng Diyos na mapgtagumpayan ang lahat ng kahinaan, mas cool.  Ito ang pinakamatamis sa lahat.  Wala kang gagawin kundi panoorin ang kamay ng Diyos na kumilos sa buhay mo.  Magtiwala ka lang, at ipapakita Nya sa'yo sa bawat mong hakbang.

Do it

Tomorrow or on Saturday or on Sunday i will start doing my homework.  This is all i wanted to say.  I have to study.  I have a project and i need to start with something.

I know i am not making sense.  I am starting to fear again.  God help me.

Ugghh

This blogger interface so ugly.

Wisdom

"...earth, if chosen instead of heaven, will turn out to have been, all along, a region in hell: and earth, if put second to heaven, to have been from the beginning a part of heaven itself."

                                                                                                                                         C.S. Lewis
                                                                                                                                        The Great Divorce

BAKED Potato Chips

So... I've been eating this "Fully loaded Baked Potato" Potato Chips:

All the while i thought i was eating BAKED potato chips. Today i realized i was only eating a bag of Baked Potato-flavored chips.

 What i should be getting is this:

See the difference?

 First time i've tried this BAKED Potato Chips was when my Ate Sue let me try it when we where in HK. When we came back home in Manila we somewhat exchanged a silent vow to look for this bag of chips in the nearest supermarket. But sad to say, we don't have it anywhere here :(

And Now, Chocolates

Okay, if God will allow me to become another person, i want to be:

Number 1. A wine connoisseur
Number 2. A chocolate connoisseur
Number 3. An ice cream connoisseur (???)

But since God did not make me a connoisseur of any of these 3 but instead made me an eating connoisseur, i will then keep getting better at eating and instead share a couple of my food addictions with you.

For my ice cream addiction, there are 3 things in my life:
Number 1: Haagen Daazs Rum Raisin
Number 2: Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia
Number 3: Rocky Road Ice cream

For chocolates, i'm a big fan of dark chocolates. And because of too much watching Willie's Wonky Chocolate Factory, i learned a few things about chocolates and one day i just decided to try out some organic dark ones that i can take especially before working out.

At a deli yesterday, i spotted these:

It was a bit difficult to decide which ones to try but they say healthy chocolates (that are a great source of antioxidants) should at least be 65% and up so i decided to get the 80% and 72%.

And then i saw this:

It was my first time to see a chocolate bar that's 95% cacao so i thought it was cool and worth trying.  So i got this too.

On my way out of the deli i immediately unwrapped the 80% chocolate bar and popped a piece in my mouth.  I can't believe i was eating an 80% bar.  It was not too bitter, it was creamy unlike other dark chocolate bars, but what i was worried about was its sugar content.  It was a bit sweet, so i don't know what this will do to my once-a-week-sugar diet.  

When i came home, out of still too much excitement, i unwrapped the 95% bar.  I was too curious, i needed a comparison between the 95% and the 80%.  And i was surprised, this 95% bar was not bitter as i expected.  It was also a bit sweet, but not bad at all.

Well, about wines, uhmm, i'm lazy to put some.  Okay have to go.  

Dreaming Of You

I'd give up cherry garcia for this. Please, how to get?

Should I?

If i decide on getting this, this will be my first Anna Sui (well, not including the dolly girl perfume i've had). But no, this isn't Anna Sui, Anna Sui. It's Hush Puppies x Anna Sui. Haha, the only thing i can afford. But still, it's quite pricey. I still yet have to decide. They say it's really comfy, like any Hush Puppies shoes. We'll see. What do you think?

We Give In Sometimes

Last night was the event we've been preparing for for the past 4 months. I had so much fun, all the hard work really paid off. It was so rewarding to see people made happy. But my personal highlight was this song played by one of my fave local bands Up Dharma Down. They rarely play this song, but for that night they did! So happy! It was like my national anthem back then, so happy i heard and saw them play it. Not a fan of love songs really but this song.. i don't know, it just casts a spell on me whenever i hear it.

Nostalgia

I was rummaging through my stuff these past few days to look for my old passports because i was applying for a Korean visa and i needed to show the embassy my previous trips to Korea. It's been a week now but with no luck until i asked our helper. Voila! I found the green folder i have been looking for where i have all my travel documents kept. It was inside an old luggage, a luggage where our helper would keep all my excesses from my previous trips.



Along with the green folder where i have my old passports, i found these things from my trip to the U.S. in 2010. Immediately, they brought me back to my summer days in New York where i spent a month to study.


My wireless mouse. All the while i thought this was sitting around in my office.


My clown tape measure. So happy i found this!


My favorite pen Ate Cecile gave to me.


My "I Heart NY" pencil. Because i collect pencils.


My favorite tweezers. Haha.


I found 2 Moleskines!
A small Moleskine which my mom gave me a year earlier than my trip to the U.S. It has an Underground map and a whole map of London inside. Why London? Because my Mom thought i'd be studying there. Apparently, i opted for a less expensive schooling.


And this big Moleskine, from my thoughtful bandmates from church. It had a Metrocard, a royal blue silk fabric swatch and a paper where i test all the Sharpie colors i needed for my illustrations, inserted inside.


My New York Subway map-inspired notebook Ate Cecile gave to me one Christmas before i left for the U.S.


This Vitra Campus booklet i found inside a design store in Chelsea.

A brochure of a tea shop where my friend Christine and i had a great chat, somewhere in Greenwich.

This amazing book i brought with me to the U.S.

This cute birthday card i found while i was at the cashier at Opening Ceremony.

It says "Denise Richards, Marilyn Manson, Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie in goth would like to wish you a Happy Birthday"


This cute postcard from Opening Ceremony.


This rope sandals i got at Opening Ceremony.


A Fenton's Creamery (an inspiration from the movie "Up") menu.


And nail polish for my sister.

Ooh, so happy today! My memories!!

Stressed, Depressed

I am sick of this industry. It is such a dirty game. I hate it. It is so sad. It is oh so sad. So hard to find real people in this industry. Sincere ones. No matter how i try to become one, these people, they just haunt you like crazy.

I remember my anthropology-major classmate in college. She said that their professor used to always say "if you see something good in someone, tell that person." So from then on i practiced doing that. Some mistake me as bolero, but i really am sincere when i do that. It makes me happy. Life seems to become a better place when i do that. But then again not all people are the same. They'd rather spit in your face and leave than accept your good intentions.

I just wish God made me an art teacher nalang. But I know He has plans. Oh God give me strength.

Oh God please give me strength. I am so tired. But i will still try.

Sunday Confession

Right after lunch my siblings and i headed straight to that ice cream kiosk with the cute doodled font name Sebastian's. It is actually our 3rd time to visit this ice cream corner. It has become our new favorite.

I dread it so much whenever we come to this place, not only because of the grumpy ice cream lady but also because i'm about to give in again to the most sinful dessert ever: the Midnight Truffle ice cream sandwich (they call it chill-y burger). It's an ice cream sandwich made with 2 layers of dark chocolate cookies filled with chocolate ice cream with a thick, decadent fudge in the
middle (now this gooey thing in the middle is what makes it verrrrrry sinful). Whenever we come to this place i pray that this flavor won't be available so i won't have commit the 7th deadly sin again (not adultery, it's gluttony). But sadly, today it was there. I nervously indulged myself and wolfed down the dessert in no time.

So now i confess. Lord forgive me, i promise to become a better person next week.

Confession

I have a confeesion to make: i ate chicharon yesterday. Loads of it. My colleague just came back from cebu and brought home some really good chicharon. This is somethin i could not resist. Shucks.

But i have my second confession: i had pizza right after eating the sinful chicharon. Come on, it was my colleague's birthday. Haha.

Calorie Counting

I was having breakfast this morning and it was the first time i realized calorie-counting isn't fun. Hahah. Who the heck would say this can be fun? I don't think even a math major student would say it's fun.

Okay so what i had today for breakfast was a plate of salad nicoise, 500+ calories; and grilled cheese with jalapeno sandwich, about 280 calories. So for breakfast alone, i've consumed at least 700 calories already! I have 1,300 calories left for the rest of my day to complete my 2,000 calorie diet.

And then...! if i want to lose weight, to lose 1 pound per week i should lessen my calorie intake by 500 a day. What the hell?

Red, R-E-D, nalang.

But i'm proud i still am on my one-dessert-a-week plan. This one works for me.

Between Sunrise and Sunset

I was watching Before Sunset on HBO last night. It's quite unfortunate especially when as a girl you're in a stage where your forehead screams "love sucks" loud and clear. Wahahah, this is an exaggeration but I can't help it. Once the movie finished, i Youtube'd Before Sunrise, it's prequel, right away. And there, i fell again.

I remember seeing this film, Before Sunrise, back in high school. It's not my fave Ethan Hawke film (can't choose this over Reality Bites), but man, after seeing this again, i have to say he's one damn good actor (Now i remember how superb he was in the film Dead Poets Society).

Anyways, I just love this part, haha

How Cute This Granny!

Things That Remind You Of Things

I am so amazed at how certain things, no matter how trivial to others, can mean so much to you especially when they remind you of certain milestones in your life. These may be an empty cup of Starbucks Frappuccino from your first date, a movie pass from your first date, or a plane ticket of your first travel out of the country. But don't worry, i have none of these. Let me tell you though of "my" things that remind me of things.

I remember, when i first came to the U.S. with my entire family, an uncle of mine gave me a Victoria's Secret cologne (it was annoyingly popular then). I was so happy, i loved it so much that in my whole 2 months of staying there, i splashed on the cologne every single day. My gosh, i squirt a portion of it even at bedtime. If i remember it right, the scent was something like "Riviera Sun" which i can no longer find now. But the scent is so vivid to me even up to this day.

Like I said, i used that cologne during my entire stay there in the U.S. When i came back here in the Philippines, the bottle left me a good 25% so that i can still show the scent off to my friends and cousins. Although this time, i lessened my use of it. I used it only for special days, not everyday. There even came a point that i forgot about it already. But after months of not using it, i noticed it again in my closet and decided to squirt it on my neck, arms, and clothes again. Wow! I can't tell you how it felt when i smelled again the scent that became my signature during my U.S. trip. I was immediately brought back to that memorable trip with my family. It was so sweet. It's like when Ego-the-food-critic first tasted Remy-the-rodent's Ratatouille. At Ego's first bite, he was immediately brought back to his sweet childhood when his mother would prepare her famous Ratatouille for him.

And then there are some songs that would remind you of things too. I know this happens with everyone. For me, one particular song that would remind me of things is the song "Rejoice in the Lord Always". The last time i heard that song was in 2009 when the horrible storm Ondoy hit our country. I remember, it was the same day my life was hit by my own Ondoy too. And during that, my Ondoy, what kept me were the songs in my ipod that i listened to until i fell asleep.

The other day i listened to the same songs that i listened to when i was going through my Ondoy. Boy was i brought back to those times in no time. I remembered vividly the days when it will rain the whole day and electricity was out almost the entire day. I feared being alone in my room so i had to have my ipod and songs with me to cradle me to sleep. I remembered vividly how i would wake up in the middle of the night palpitating. God, i remembered it all. But yeah, two years have passed now and God has been faithful. I'm glad God taught me things so differently that had i not sought Him, i would not have known how to face my Ondoy. Now i thank God for my new life. New friends he has given me. New loved ones He has blessed me with. New helpmates. I thank God for everything.

Won't Trade You For Anything

Can i just say i love my Lumix? It's my new bestfriend. Been browsing my blog (i do that all the time), and i can't help but say thank you to my Lumix, for being there all this time.

Shucks, this feels weird. I feel so abnormal. I feel like i'm that girl who freakily decided to marry the Eiffel Tower. No i'm not that. I just want to say i value my Lumix so much. But if God will one day take it away from me, oh my... i'd like to say i'll be okay but i will definitely cry first. I will cry an Ondoy-cry. Then afterwards, by God's grace i know i will be able to accept it.

"The Lord gives, the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord."